Tuesday, 11 June 2013 09:46

How is the quality of your conversations

Relationships develop conversation by conversation; and the quality of your relationships depends on the quality of your conversations. 

Many of us are unaware of our behaviour in conversations and how it can have disastrous effects on our relationships with people who are important to us such as our children, life partners and colleagues at work.

Do you hog the air space? Some people always have more difficult problems, more interesting stories or more dramatic dramas than anyone else. Are you one of them? Do people around you take on a slightly glazed stare when you get going on a topic, nodding and smiling at you mechanically? A conversation is a two person game; not a time to pontificate on something that’s of importance mainly to you. 

How well do you listen? Good listening is a rare skill which communicates your respect and consideration for others. It is especially important when you’re talking to someone whose views or arguments are different from your own. When people feel they’re not being heard they quickly shut down. Many relationships founder on misunderstandings and ignorance of needs and feelings that come from poor listening.

Do you tell others what to do? Even when you think you have the right answer to someone’s problem, no-one enjoys being told what to do. If you need their commitment to action, you need to involve them in deciding what to do. When you don’t listen carefully and you tell others what to do, you can switch people off completely.

Hogging airspace, poor listening and telling others what to do, all reflect a degree of self-centeredness that does not bode well for building good relationships. 

Additional Info

  • Topic: Building Relationships, Self Development

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