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If you want to be known as a person of integrity you must keep your promises and meet your commitments. This means making promises and agreeing to commitments which are realistic for you and with which you are comfortable: and saying no to requests you cannot handle.  When you make realistic commitments people will learn that you are reliable and can be trusted to do what you say you will do. Their respect for you will grow and your relationships with them will improve. Reliability and integrity are the basis for good personalrelationships, as well as those with friends and…
The longer you allow others to assume that you are always available to fit in with their plans and demands, the more difficult it becomes to change your behaviour. You find it more difficult to speak up; the other person finds it more difficult to accept that you are no longer going along with their requests and assumptions.   Faced with a difficult conversation that might end with you being thought of as unhelpful and uncooperative, it often seems easier to stay quiet. In the short term it probably is. But in the longer term your frustration and resentment will…
Are you one of the people who has lent money to a friend, a relative or a business partner, expecting that at some point it would be returned, maybe even with interest. Perhaps you negotiated payback terms and received reassurances that they would be met, but the deadlines went by. You might have felt too embarrassed to say anything or maybe you followed up with inquiries, some tentative, some more aggressive. But you still haven’t seen your money. In the conversation below, Michael’s son Matt refuses to lend money to a friend who has not returned previous loans. It models…
Why do you say yes when you really want to say no?   You say yes when you mean no, because you fear that others will criticise you for being selfish, uncaring or unhelpful. You say yes to hold onto the illusion that you can be there for everyone, the dependable fall-back in every crisis, the perfect employee, perfect friend and perfect partner. There are also times when you say yes to help others follow their dreams, because you are too scared to follow your own.   When you sacrifice your self-respect for the approval of others you find yourself…
We often react to our mistakes by blaming and accusing others, rather than by acknowledging what we’ve said or done and apologising. A sincere apology can prevent the emotional wake you leave behind, doing harm to others. We often react to our mistakes by blaming and accusing others, rather than by acknowledging what we’ve said or done and apologising. Witness our behaviour on the roads and in parking lots! Blaming others can be easier than seeing and admitting the error of our ways. Sometimes we are afraid to apologise in case the apology is not accepted. Often we expect other…
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