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When the going gets tough and you have lost your bounce, it is easy to think only of what is difficult and what is going wrong. Resilient people have learned to focus on positive thoughts to build up their self esteem and energy. It doesn’t mean being unrealistic or denying reality. It just means you cope better. Here are some tools that help. At the end of each day take time out to think through what went well so you wake up in a more positive state to tackle the following day. Give yourself positive feedback. Think of what you would say…
When you get into a negative state, like the way you feel after a bad sales call, or a disagreement with someone you love, you feel depressed, miserable and without energy. When you know how to put yourself into a positive state you can bounce back with energy and resilience. 1. Make a physical change If you are sitting; stand. If you are inside; go outside. If you feel tense; stretch.  Identify the physical change that most helps you back to a positive state. 2. Step out Think of yourself as an observer to the situation and look at it…
You can choose how you look at things. You can say: I failed.  Or you can say: I did not pass this time. You can say: losing my job was the worst thing that could happen to me. Or you can say: losing my job gives me the chance to start my own business. Re-framing your perspective does not change an event, but it helps you hold a more positive attitude toward it. You’ll have more energy, be more creative, and give yourself a better chance of working through the problem. You can train yourself to explore different ways of…
The old saying that ‘practice makes perfect’ is inaccurate.The only way to do things better is to obtain feedback.This holds true whether you’re trying to play better golf or improve your performance at work. Using feedback effectively is a key element in building up resilience. Everyone needs both positive and negative feedback.Unfortunately, our cultures do not encourage praise and we are generally socialized to play down our successes. There is even research showing that people who are critical are deemed to be more intelligent than those who give positive feedback! When you need to find out what you are doing…
Speaking up to anyone in authority can be difficult and high risk. If you get it wrong, it could be career limiting. But it may be the only way to remove feelings of frustration and dis-empowerment at work and can be a powerful way to increase your resilience. One of the conversations that most people avoid is asking for a pay increase. It’s a sensitive topic and you are speaking up to your manager with whom your relationship is important. Plan your strategy carefully. Your relationship with your manager is based on the support, respect and assistance you offer, as well as…